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About Myself
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About Kryvyi Rih
I tried Tinder once—total ragequit. Matched this chick, she’s all “wyd?” I’m like, “bangin’ you soon, duh!” Ghosted me faster than Cartman ditchin’ Kenny. Made me so pissed—respect my authoritah, dammit! Apps promise booty, deliver jackshit. “The past is just a story”—yeah, my dry spell’s a frickin’ novel! Sex-dating’s like bidding on a busted toaster—looks hot, sparks fly, then nada.
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So, I’m like, “Need a hand, babushka?” She looks at me like I’m some kinda superhero. I mean, I’m just a dude with dirt under my nails! But she’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. I help her carry her stuff to her flat on Hrushevskoho Street. She offers me a cookie. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” Best cookie ever.
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