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About Lviv

Sex-dating? Man, it’s a trip. You got folks out here lyin’ ‘bout they height, they pics from 10 years back, lookin’ like they grandmama now. I’m like, “Bruh, who you foolin’?” Then you got them profiles— “Lookin’ for my soulmate.” Bitch, this ain’t eHarmony, this a smash-n-dash zone! Made me mad as fuck once, matched this chick, she ghosted me after I sent my best “Wassup, girl?” vibes. Waste of my damn time, yo.

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So, I rush to the auction house on Komsomolskaya. Traffic was a mess! Cars everywhere, honking like they’re in a symphony of chaos. I’m stuck behind this old lady driving a Lada. I swear, she was going 20 km/h. I’m yelling, “C’mon, lady! We got bids to make!” But she’s just chillin’, probably reminiscing about the good ol’ days.