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Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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But just when I think the day’s chillin’, I get a call from my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What’s goin’ on?” He says there’s a flash mob. I’m intrigued.

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