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About Myself
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I wuz walkin’ down Bikini Bottom—well, not really, some shady street. Lookin’ for a gal, y’know, to chat with. Not like SpongeBob’s jellyfish hunt, nah, this wuz serious biz! I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb, right? But then—BOOM—there she wuz! Standin’ by a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. Real classy, like in old movies, but dirtier.
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It is difficult to determine the date, when Stavysche was established. The written sources mention that in Polish magnate Ruzhyns’kyi already received a number of land grants for his Missing: prostitute.
After that, I head to the betting shop on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. It’s packed, as usual. Everyone’s got that look—hopeful, desperate, you know? I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a pressure cooker. I start takin’ bets, and this one guy, he’s all over the place. “I want to bet on the local team, the Stavyshche Falcons!” he shouts. I’m like, “Bro, they haven’t won a game in ages!” But he’s convinced. Whatever, I take his bet.
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