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What gets me hyped? The thrill, innit! That buzz when you match, like, “Oi, she’s peng!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—proper teenage vibes. But then, some profiles—ugh, cringe! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—mate, this ain’t Disney! Sex-dating’s messy, raw, like the seasons in me film. Spring’s all horny, summer’s hot and heavy, fall’s when you ghost, and winter? You’re cryin’ into your kebab, alone. “Everything has its time,” Kim says—true dat!

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After the rain, I decided to grab a bite. I hit up this little diner on Komsomolskaya Street. Best borscht in town, no joke! I sat down, and the waitress, Oksana, she’s a real character. She asked me if I wanted “extra garlic.” I said, “Why not? Let’s scare off the vampires!” We both laughed. It’s moments like these that make Sukhodilsk feel like home.

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