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About Kyiv

Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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But then, outta nowhere, a kid on a bike zooms past and splashes mud all over me. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” My tourists are cracking up, and I can’t help but laugh too. I mean, it’s just mud, right?

A terrible tragedy occurred with a pizzaiolo who came from Slovenia to Ukraine