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About Kryvyi Rih

So, find a prostitute – where do ya start? Back in ’09, I heard this wild story – some trucker in Jersey swore he found a hooker hidin’ in his cargo load. True story! She popped outta a crate, all “Surprise, motherfucker!” – I laughed my ass off. Made me happy, thinkin’ life’s fuckin’ weird. Could I get that lucky? Nah, I ain’t that guy. I’d prolly just get a flat tire and a sermon instead.

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After that, I head over to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed, like, sardines in a can. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd when I spot this vendor selling the juiciest cherries. I’m like, “Gimme a kilo!” But the dude’s like, “Nah, only if you can catch ‘em.” So, I’m there, trying to catch cherries he’s tossing at me. I felt like a clown. But hey, I got my cherries, so win-win!

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