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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Am I awake or dreamin’?”—Nolan vibes, bro! Once, this dude next to me farted mid-massage—stank so bad I laughed, ruined the vibe! “Your totem’s broke, man!” I shouted. Hella funny, but ew! Oh, and don’t get me started on prices—50 bucks for an hour? Robbery! But worth it when she whispers, “Relax, big guy,”—ooh, chills!

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But then, as I’m munching on my bread, I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s all over the place, like he’s never seen a steering wheel before. I’m just sitting there, laughing my head off. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! After what feels like an eternity, he finally gets it right. I give him a thumbs up, and he looks at me like I’m his biggest fan. I’m just here for the show, buddy!

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