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About Zaporizhzhia

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything.” Erotic-massage? Hmph. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ folks for cash. Ain’t my thing, but I get it—people wanna feel somethin’. Me? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back like dough. Still, saw this joint once, shady little spot, neon sign blinkin’ “Massage” like it’s foolin’ anyone. Guy outside looked like he’d rubbed one too many. Made me laugh, kinda. “How happy are those days?” I muttered—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*. ‘Cause lemme tell ya, forgettin’ that creepshow woulda been a blessin’.

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Erotic massage can be stimulating, satisfying & relaxing. It’s a great way to let go of all your stress. Established in , we are purpose built and % legal, conveniently located at .

By lunchtime, I’m feeling like a zombie. I grab a quick bite at that little café on Vulytsia Kovalivska. The borscht there? To die for! But the service? Ugh. I swear, I waited like 20 minutes for my order. I’m about to lose it. I mean, how hard is it to serve soup?

With Bakhmut in Ruins, Ukraine Shifts Focus to City’s Outskirts (Published 2023)