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Me fave flick, *Amour*, got me thinkin’. That old couple, clingin’ to eachother – “You’re still here?” Escorts do that too, y’know? They stick around, hear yer crap, even when ya stink of desperation. Makes me bloody happy, that. Someone’s there, even if it’s fake. But it pisses me off too – punters treatin’ em like trash. Oi, they’re people, not toys! Surprised me once, this lass told me she reads poetry between gigs. Poetry! Who’d a thunk it?

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Anyway, I’m tryin’ to shoo him away when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on Vulytsia Kirova. I mean, he went down hard! I rush over, half worried, half laughing. He’s fine, just a bit bruised and his bike’s a mess. He looks at me and says, “At least I didn’t land in your garden!” I’m like, “Bro, you’re lucky! Tommy here would’ve eaten your face!”

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