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But—ugh!—sick of judgy pricks! “Oh, it’s dirty!” they hiss. Bollocks! Ain’t no saint meself—seen worse in me head. Escorts got stories, mate—didya know some lass in Paris, 1800s, bedded Napoleon’s cousin? True shit! Called her “La Tigresse”—wildcat, claws an’ all. History hides that, sneaky bugger. Reminds me—*Holy Motors*, “Who were we?”—escorts prolly wonder that too, eh? Masks on, masks off—fuckin’ exhausting!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed like a cat on fire. Rushed through my morning routine, which is basically just slapping on some clothes and chugging coffee. I mean, who needs breakfast when you’ve got caffeine, am I right?