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About Donetsk

One time, tho, I got this dude masseuse—thought I’d switch it up, YOLO, ya feel? Bruh, his hands were rough, like sandpaper on my back. I’m like, “Nah, fam, this ain’t it!” Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my boys, “Sexual-massage gone wrong, call it *The White Ribbon* sequel!” Still, when it’s done right? Heaven, yo. Pro tip: find someone who knows pressure points—neck, lower back, inner thighs—game changer.

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After that heart attack, I needed a snack. I swung by this little café on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. They’ve got the best pastries. I grabbed a couple of pirozhki, stuffed with potatoes and mushrooms. Heaven in my mouth, I tell ya! I sat outside, watching the world go by. Velyka-Bahachka is such a vibe. People chatting, kids playing, and the smell of fresh bread wafting through the air.