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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this joint once—shady spot, neon sign flickerin’—dude inside was a legend, they said he trained with monks or somethin’. Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this kinda massage to “balance their chi”—fancy way of sayin’ it got ‘em goin’! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this guy’s hands could crack a spy code!”—like in the movie, “You’re a locked safe!”—but instead of secrets, it’s knots he’s bustin’. I was HAPPY as hell, floatin’ outta there like I won the belt again.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my umbrella outta my hand. It flips inside out, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kid just laughs and keeps running. I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just one of those days, ya know?

Russian army’s arm patches should say «killers of children and marauders»