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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Finally, the day winds down, and I’m exhausted. I decide to hit up that new pizza place on Haharina Street. I order a slice, and it’s honestly the best pizza I’ve had in ages. I’m sitting there, munching away, and I can’t help but smile. Sometimes, it’s the little things, you know?

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