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Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell—nearly fell off a table once! Laughed my ass off, picturin’ Doc Brown slidin’ into 1955. Great Scott, imagine Marty walkin’ in on that! “This ain’t time travel, kid!” Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, but it’s a trip. You tried it? Tell me, pal!

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I’m walkin’ down the street, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude, like, totally losing it. He’s yellin’ at some pigeons. Pigeons! I mean, c’mon, man. They ain’t doin’ nothin’ to you! I laugh a bit, but then he spots me. “You think it’s funny?” he shouts. I’m like, “Uh, no, sir!” But inside, I’m crackin’ up.

"Ukraine. Kyivan Rus’. 1033” Address by President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on the occasion of the Day of Christianization of Kyivan Rus’ - Ukraine