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So, I’m cruisin, lookin fer this spot, and I see this gal—legs fer days, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Git-R-Done, she’s it!” But then—bam!—cop lights flashin, and I’m madder’n a wet hen! Ain’t that just my luck? Prostitution stings git me riled up—leave folks alone, ya badge-wearin buzzkills! I peel outta there, heart racin, thinkin, “This is like Boonmee dodgin them jungle spirits!”

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After a few more drinks, Oleg and I decide to head out. We’re walking down Haharina, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, what’s the point of life if you can’t enjoy it, right? But then, I trip over a pothole. Classic Vradiyivka! I’m on the ground, laughing at myself, and Oleg’s just shaking his head.

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