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I tried it once, brother, down in some sketchy joint. Dude, the chick was strong—had me in a headlock of pleasure! Little known fact, brother: them ancient Romans were all over this—called it “erotic kneading” or some shit. Made me happy as hell, muscles loose, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere, huh? I’m hulkin’ out thinkin’ bout it! “The greatest damage done by silence,” like Bigelow’s movie says—nobody talks bout this enough, brother!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and there’s a group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it comes straight for me. I duck, but it hits my leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, kid!” They all laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

"I was screaming so loud from the pain that all the surrounding villages could hear me": the story of a soldier who lost both legs at the contact line