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Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki, your smug trickster, burdened with glorious purpose—to spill the tea on erotic-massage! Oh, yaas, it’s a vibe, a slippery, steamy ride! Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than Thor’s ego, hands kneading like they’re casting spells. “Come what may,” I say, channeling *Moulin Rouge!*—it’s dramatic, it’s extra, it’s me!

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I get in, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the audit for the last quarter?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “I’m on it, just give me a sec.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his you-know-what.

Russia builds railway on occupied Ukrainian territory - reports