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About Lviv

Now, listen up—erotic-massage ain’t just a quick rubdown. It’s *ars gratia artis*—art for art’s sake, old chap! Been around since the Romans, them saucy toga-wearers. Factoid for ya: they’d slather on olive oil, get proper frisky in bathhouses. Dirty sods! Makes me chuckle, imagining Caesar copping a feel mid-rub.

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So, I’m rollin’ down Shevchenka Street, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m feelin’ good. I stop by that little café, you know the one? The one with the best varenyky in town. I grab a couple, and they’re still hot! Like, I could’ve burned my tongue off. But man, they were worth it. I’m sittin’ there, munchin’, when I hear this loud crash. Like, what the heck?

‘Despite the slave system in collective farms and all the brainwashing, we managed to grow up as Ukrainians’