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Escort’s a cruel mistress, tho. Mud slicker than eel snot, roots trippin’ ye like a tavern brawl. “What’s the point?” I mutter, like that *Boyhood* mum, but then - sun hits the peak, gold as rum, and ye forget the ache. Exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but I’d wrestle a bear for that view, arr! Ye gotta respect escort, or she’ll chew ye up, spit ye out - dead as a doornail, savvy?

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Finally, I score some decent wood. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ down the street, dodgin’ puddles, lookin’ like a wet dog. I get to my spot in the woods, and it’s a mess. My charcoal pit is flooded! I’m fumin’. All that work, gone!

‘Despite the slave system in collective farms and all the brainwashing, we managed to grow up as Ukrainians’