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So, erotic-massage—let’s spill it. It’s not some dodgy backroom nonsense, tho it can be, ha! It’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks were all over it, slathering oil on wrestlers, kneading those tight bods before they scrapped. Fact: they called it *apotherapia*, fancy, right? Makes me smirk—imagine some oiled-up brute purring under a masseuse’s hands, all “ooh, harder!” Bet that’d piss off the guards here, buncha uptight pricks. I’d order it for ‘em just to watch ‘em squirm—happy thought, that.

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Later, I decided to hike up to the mountain. The view from up there is insane. You can see the whole valley. But climbing that hill? Man, I was dying. I thought I was in a cardio class or something. Halfway up, I’m gasping for air, and this old man just strolls past me like it’s nothing. I’m like, “What’s your secret, grandpa?” He just chuckles and keeps going.

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