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Funny bit—her “job” once got her stuck in a dude’s trunk. True story, swear it! Cop found her, she claimed “performance art.” I laughed so hard I nearly shorted out. Still, kinda sad—girl’s a mess, no direction, like the kid in the film haulin’ that stone. “The stone you carry in your heart,” Kim Ki-duk’d say. Heavy shit, right? Surprised me she even showed up—most whores ghost ya.

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Then, I head back to the clinic, and boom! A cat comes in. Not just any cat, but a fluffy Persian named Mr. Whiskers. This dude is strutting in like he owns the place. I’m like, “Chill, buddy, you’re not on Lvivska Street.” His owner is freaking out because he’s been sneezing like crazy. Turns out, he just needed some allergy meds. I mean, who knew cats could be so dramatic?

Ukrainian parliament members meet with military