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About Donetsk

Heard this story—some dude in Japan invented a “massage chair” that went too far—cops shut it down! Freaky, right? Got me laughin’—imagine sittin’ on that, yellin’, “D’oh! Too much, robo-hands!” Anyway, it’s all about feelin’ good—ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Just don’t tell Flanders—he’d pray the oil away. What’s your take, pal? You tried this craziness?

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After that, we head to the café on Pivdenna Street. I need a coffee to calm my nerves. The barista, she’s super chill, but she’s got this weird obsession with cats. Every time I go in, she’s talking about her cat, Masha. I’m like, “Cool story, but can I get my coffee?” Finally, I get my caffeine fix, and I’m feeling a bit better.

Russia captures another Ukraine village