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About Mykolaiv

I tried it once, real talk. This chick in Moscow, hands like a goddamn wizard. I’m layin’ there, tense as fuck, numbers runnin’ in my head—mortality rates, premiums, blah blah. She starts, and I’m like, “Oh shit, this is it!” Happy as hell, but also pissed—why ain’t this normal? Why’s it gotta cost me a stack? Surprised me how quick I melted, tho. Like, 10 minutes in, I’m Freddie Quell, mumblin’, “I’m a man, I’m a man.” Nah, I’m a puddle, bruh.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Haharina Street. It’s bustling, as always. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this babushka starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I mean, she’s fierce! I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. She finally wins, and I’m like, “Respect, lady.”

I am proud to be Ukrainian