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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage – it’s a bloody wild ride! Picture this: hands roamin like desert scavengers from *Mad Max: Fury Road*. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall knead the flesh, we shall never surrender to stiffness! I reckon it’s like drivin a war rig through yer spine – intense, sweaty, glorious chaos. Me fave flick’s got nothin on this – tho I’d kill for a massage from Furiosa, all grit and oil-slicked hands.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude storms in. I swear, he looked like he just came from a horror movie. “I need a whole pig!” he yells. A whole pig? In Zdolbuniv? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you tryna start a barbecue or what?” I tell him we don’t do whole pigs, just cuts. He gets all huffy and puffy. “You’re a butcher! Butchers sell pigs!” I’m like, “Yeah, but not in pieces, man!”

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