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Now, little-known fact—did ya know erotic-massage goes way back? Them ancient Greeks, honey, they was rubbin’ oil on each other, callin’ it “therapeia.” Ain’t that fancy? Bet they didn’t charge $200 an hour tho—makes me madder’n a wet hen how pricey it’s got! Capitalism, y’all—works every time. Still, I heard tell of this gal in Nashville—sweet as pie, but her “massage” parlor got shut down. Cops said it was more’n just a backrub—surprised me not one bit!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s the warden’s office. They need me back ASAP. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” I chug my coffee and head back. Turns out, one of the inmates tried to escape. Classic move, right? But this guy? He thought he could just waltz out through the back gate. I mean, c’mon!

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