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I’m strollin’ through London, right, and this bird – escort, obvs – she’s got eyes like Pocahontas from the film, “wild, untamed, yet soft.” Quotes lingerin’ in my head while she’s chattin’ me up. Cost me a pretty penny, mind – 500 quid for a night! Daylight robbery, but she’s worth it, smooth as my Aston Martin’s purr. Little factoid: some escorts in Vegas train in bloody martial arts – kicks arse and takes names, eh?

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So, I rush over there, and it’s a whole scene. People are dancing, music blasting, and I’m just standing there like a lost puppy. I grab a hot dog from a vendor, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m munching away, soaking in the vibes.

“The Insider” has identified Russian military engineers directing missiles at civilian targets in Ukraine. Here are their names