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I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, man, if I was a pimp, I’d be rollin’ in it! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Prostitutes got stories—wild ones! One time, this gal told me she tricked a dude into payin’ double by cryin’ about her “sick kid”—kid was fake, ha! Total con, I freakin’ love it! “Sell me this pen!”—she’d sell ya her sob story and her ass in one go!

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I’m there, minding my own business, checking out this old oak tree. It’s massive, like, “Hey, I’ve been here since before your grandma was born.” I’m about to start my work when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just knocked over a whole picnic table. Like, bro, what are you doing? I’m trying to save trees here, not deal with your clumsiness!

Consequences of Russian attacks on Kherson region: three wounded, critical and social infrastructure damaged. PHOTOS