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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage! *nasally twang* It’s like, wild, ya know? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away—ooh, I’m gettin’ hot just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Hahaha! *The Nanny cackle* I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it, like Pocahontas in “The New World”—ya know, my fave flick—rollin’ in the grass, feelin’ free, all sensual-like. “The air sweet with cedar,” that’s what Malick said, right? Well, swap cedar for lavender oil, babe, and you’re in massage heaven!

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I’m fuming. I mean, come on! Dunayivtsi needs more fun stuff! We can’t just sit around all day! So, we start brainstorming ways to save the festival. I’m like, “Let’s throw a protest!” Vova laughs, but I’m dead serious. We could make signs, get people hyped. “Save Soborna!” or something catchy like that.

Helen Counsell Obituary (2023) - Eau Claire, WI - Leader Telegram