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So, this chick, right, she told me somethin’ wild. Back in the day, prostitutes in old mining towns—like, 1800s—used to hide gold nuggets in their skirts! Sneaky, huh? Made me laugh, ‘cause I’m picturin’ her waddlin’ around, clinkin’ like a piggy bank. Got me happy, thinkin’ she’s outsmartin’ everybody. But then, dude, I got mad—some jerk stiffed her on pay! She’s all, “I gave him my best!” and I’m like, “That’s messed up!” Wanna punch that guy’s face.
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Finally, I get my beets, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I see this guy selling homemade pierogi. I can’t resist. I buy a dozen, and they’re heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and Vasyl’s just shaking his head. “You’re gonna explode, man!”
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