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About Kyiv

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, sharp as a tack, and I ain’t here to mess around bout escort – yeah, that’s right, escort! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up with this gig. So, escort, huh? Makes me think of them fancy schmancy bellhops in “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – ya know, my fave flick from 2014, Wes Anderson’s a genius, swear! Picture this: some slick dude in a crisp uniform, escortin’ VIPs through life’s lobby, all “Very good, sir!” and tip-toein’ round like they own the joint.

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We decide to grab some lunch at that little spot on Haharina Street. You know, the one with the best borscht? I’m all about that beet life. But when we get there, it’s packed! Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s just borscht!”

Russia’s war on Ukraine: Where Putin’s forces have hit so far