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So, I roll up, window down, bass thumpin’. She leans in, all sassy, smellin’ like cheap perfume and secrets. “What you want, big man?” she says, smirkin’. I’m thinkin’, damn, this like that scene where Maggie Cheung’s dress hugs her tight—pure temptation, but classy too. I tell her, “Just a vibe, baby, keep it real.” She hops in, and we talkin’—turns out she’s got stories, fam! Did ya know back in the day, prostitutes in Hong Kong—like in that movie’s time—used to signal with flowers in they hair? Red for “I’m down,” white for “not tonight.” Little shit like that blows my mind, yo!

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Finally, I get my drink. It’s lukewarm. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, Izmail? This is how we start?” But whatever, I chug it down and head to the translation gig. I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, so I’m used to the hustle. But today? Today was a whole different level.

Russians attack Izmail in Odesa Oblast, killing three people and injuring 14 – photos