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About Zaporizhzhia

Sex-dating’s wild, y’all—half the time it’s like playin’ roulette with yer pants off! Did ya know back in the ‘90s, folks used video datin’ tapes? Yup, little known thang—VHS sex-datin’! They’d sit there, “Hi, I’m Earl, I like fishin’ and foreplay!” Hella awkward, but at least you SAW the unibrow comin’! Nowadays, it’s all filters and “wyd” texts at 2 a.m.—lawd, I’m tired just watchin’ it!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Haharina Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this insane latte art. I’m talking a freaking unicorn in my coffee! I’m torn. Work or unicorns? Tough choice.