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About Lviv

Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage biz. Ain’t just hands roamin’—it’s a bloomin’ art! Watched *Mulholland Drive* last night, got me thinkin’—all them twisty vibes, shadowy curves, like a good rubdown, eh? “The key’s in the touch,” I says, slurrin’ over me rum.

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Anyway, I finally get the oven to cooperate. I’m whipping up some sweet buns, and the smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly! I can almost see the locals lining up on Haharina Street, drooling over my creations. Just as I’m about to pull them out, the door swings open. It’s Oksana, the local gossip queen. She’s got this wild story about the mayor’s cat getting stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Oksana, I’m busy here!” But she just keeps talking.

Shelling at nuclear plant raises alarm, as war intensifies in east Ukraine