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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”! It’s wild, man! I was shocked, like, totally. Did ya know in ancient China, they used it for, like, health? Crazy, right? I’m talkin’ Tang Dynasty vibes, not just, ya know, rubbin’ for fun. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause, like, it’s art, not just sleaze. But some places? Ugh, so sketchy, it pisses me off! Like, “Requiem for a Dream,” man, that desperation? Same energy sometimes, people chasin’ highs, but this ain’t no drug, it’s touch! I’m all, “I’m somebody now, everybody likes me!” from the movie, but, like, chill, it’s just a massage, not a life change.

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But then, oh man, the anger hit. I walked over to the bus stop on Haharina Street. I’m waiting for the bus, right? And it’s late. Like, really late. I check my watch, and I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!” Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and this guy next to me smells like he just rolled in a dumpster. I mean, dude, personal hygiene? Ever heard of it?

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories