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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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First off, I’m at the lift on Gagarina Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with people? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in, all flustered. She’s got a coffee in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. I’m like, “Lady, you know this ain’t a bus, right?” But she’s all, “Up, up, up!” So, I hit the button, and we’re off.

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