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I reckon it’s like *Ten*, that movie I love—ya know, Abbas Kiarostami, 2002? That lady drivin’, talkin’, life spillin’ out messy? Sexual-massage is that ride—slow, tense, then bam, ya feel it. “The world’s a strange place,” she says—damn right, ‘specially when some gal’s kneadin’ yer back and—oops—lower! Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ folks down with olive oil, callin’ it therapy. Bet they wasn’t just stretchin’ for the Olympics, heh!

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After that, I decided to walk it off. I head over to the old church on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. It’s beautiful, but there’s a wedding happening. And let me tell you, weddings in Ukraine are a whole vibe. Everyone’s dressed to the nines, and I’m just in my jeans and a t-shirt. I feel so underdressed. But then, the bride catches my eye and smiles. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”