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Hey pal, it’s me, Tina Fey – snarky wit, “I can see Russia from my house!” – and I’m here slingin’ scissors and opinions like a boss. So, sex-dating, huh? Total wild west out there. Apps, swipes, ghosting – it’s a freakin’ jungle! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, why’s it gotta be so damn sneaky? Like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” but with sex-dating, nobody’s findin’ shit half the time. You swipe, you chat, you pray they ain’t a catfish. Drives me up the wall!
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Then, right after that, I get this call from a lady. She’s screaming about a pothole on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t fix roads! I’m not a superhero!” But she’s relentless. “It’s gonna swallow my car!” I’m just trying to keep my cool. I mean, I get it, potholes are the bane of our existence here. But come on, I’m just a voice on the other end of the line!
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