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Oi, mate, listen up, yeah? I’m a parachutist firefighter, innit, jumpin’ out planes, savin’ forests, proper hero shit. But today, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, ya get me? Respec’! Now, I ain’t no posh geezer, but I knows a thing or two ‘bout them hands gettin’ busy, yeah? Sexual-massage, fam, it’s like… next level rub-downs, proper cheeky. Ain’t just yer back gettin’ a tickle, nah, it’s the full works—boom!

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After that drama, I head back to the clinic, and guess what? My next patient is a cat named Mr. Whiskers. Classic, right? This little furball is a total diva. He’s hissing and scratching like he’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s not having it. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not even that cute.”