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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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Then, I head back to the clinic, and boom! A cat comes in. Not just any cat, but a fluffy Persian named Mr. Whiskers. This dude is strutting in like he owns the place. I’m like, “Chill, buddy, you’re not on Lvivska Street.” His owner is freaking out because he’s been sneezing like crazy. Turns out, he just needed some allergy meds. I mean, who knew cats could be so dramatic?

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