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But real talk, sex-dating’s a minefield. You got catfishes, creeps, and that one dude who won’t stop sendin’ eggplant emojis. Drives me up the wall! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I wanna yell, “I see through your BS!” Had this one guy—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. I was done. Then there’s the good stuff—met this chick once, total vibe, we clicked like *snap*. Made me happy as hell, like, “Who gives a fuck?”—straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. Rare, tho. Most times it’s a shitshow.

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After that little adventure, I’m back at the shop, and I’m feelin’ pretty good. But then, the delivery guy shows up late with my fur supplies. I’m fuming! I’ve got customers waiting, and I’m like, “What’s the hold-up, mate?” Turns out, he got stuck in traffic on the A41. Classic Abbots-Langley, right? Always something on the roads.

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