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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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First thing, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on Mill Street. Classic, right? I grab my gear and head out. I’m thinking, “How hard can it be?” Well, turns out, this fluffy little diva named Whiskers was not having it. I’m up there, trying to coax her down with treats, and she’s just staring at me like I’m the biggest loser. I mean, come on! I’m risking my life here!

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