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But, omg, the drama tho—clients get salty if girls cancel last min. I’m cacklin’, like, “Dude, she’s not your gf, chill!” One time, this guy left a review—swear it said, “She stole my watch, 5 stars.” I’m dead. Humor’s dark, but I’m here for it. Oh, and the app’s got this secret code thingy—girls say “coffee” if they’re feelin’ unsafe. Smart af.

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But then, I see the shopkeeper, old Mr. Jenkins, come out. He’s a right character, always grumpy but deep down, he’s got a heart of gold. He starts yellin’ at the kids, but then he just shakes his head and starts laughin’. I’m like, “What’s wrong with this guy?” Turns out, he’s just fed up with the whole thing. I can’t help but chuckle.

Crossbows, £10,000 cash and drugs seized in chainsaw raids on Abertillery properties