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Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style, narratin’ the wild world of sex-datin’ like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this - the urban jungle, yeah, full of horny humans swipin’ right, lookin’ for a quick shag or somethin’ deeper. Calm now, rhythmic like, it’s a dance, innit? A proper mating ritual. Like in “Boyhood”, where life just unfolds, messy, real - “I’m just tryin’ to find my way,” Mason says, and ain’t that the truth with sex-datin’?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the Amersham Common. It’s beautiful, all green and peaceful. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this dog running loose. It’s chasing a squirrel, and I’m like, “Oh no, this is gonna end badly.” The squirrel darts up a tree, and the dog just stops, confused. I’m cracking up.

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