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So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just a quick fumble. Nah, it’s an art, like. Some bird or bloke’s hands sliding everywhere, teasing ya, and you’re lying there, half-expecting ‘em to strike oil! “I drink your milkshake!”—yeah, they’re slurping up your tension, mate, leaving you a puddle. Did ya know, right, back in ancient China, emperors got this shit regular? Called it “lingam worship”—fancy term for wanking royalty! Hahaha, imagine that, some posh git in a robe, “Oh, yes, worship it, peasant!” Mental.

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As the sun started to set, we made our way back. I was feeling all sorts of emotions—happy, angry, surprised. It was a rollercoaster of a day. I thought about how Arbroath is this mix of beauty and chaos. One minute you’re enjoying the sea breeze, the next you’re dodging seagulls and bar fights.

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