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Real talk—had this chick once, mad skills, kneadin’ me like dough, got me thinkin’, “Bruh, where you been hidin’?” Little known fact: back in Japan, geishas used to flex these moves—secret vibes, no cap. Shit’s ancient, like 1600s ancient, but freaky fresh. Got me hyped, heart racin’—then bam, she flipped me over, and I’m like, “Yo, this escalated quick!” Happy as fuck, but lowkey pissed—why ain’t nobody tell me ‘bout this sooner? YOLO, right?

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Then, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on MacDonald Road. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t we just let it chill up there?” But no, the owner’s in tears. So, I send the fire brigade again. They’re probably thinkin’, “What’s with all the drama today?”

Sadiq Khan intervenes in Archway housing and student tower scheme