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Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once matched this guy—profile said “6’5, ripped”—shows up, 5’2, beer gut. Screamed in my head, “Who sent this clown?!” Laughed tho, bought him a beer—sex-dating’s a dice roll, fam! Favorite part? The absurdity! People out here typin’ “DTF” like it’s a job app. Sarcasm on blast—I’m like, “Yeah, real soulmate material!” Oh, and this one time—girl said she’s “discreet”—brings a megaphone to the date! Yellin’ “I’M HORNY!” in Starbucks. Nearly died laughin’.

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I finally get to work, and my boss, Dave, is already in a mood. He’s pacing around like a caged lion. Turns out, we’ve got this big client meeting today. And guess who forgot to prep the presentation? Yep, yours truly. I’m sweating bullets, man. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just Ashton-in-Makerfield, not the end of the world!”

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