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But, like, it’s also hilarious-sad. Imagine paying $60 for a massage, then, oops, $200 more for a “happy ending.” So extra! I’d be like, “Um, no thanks, I’ll just Netflix and chill.” But, like, the economics? Supply and demand, baby! People want stress relief, intimacy, whatever. It’s, like, a service industry with major stigma but huge profits. I’m over here calculating GDP in my head, like, “This could boost the economy, but, ugh, the laws are so messy!”

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and my sausage goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my lunch splat on the ground. I was furious! I mean, c’mon, kid! But then he looks up at me with these big, innocent eyes, and I just couldn’t stay mad. I ended up giving him a high-five instead.

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