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About Newcastle

So, here’s the deal—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some schmuck’s back. Nah, it’s deep, it’s primal, it’s like wakin’ up yer soul with a jolt! I got into it years back—buddy of mine swore by it. Said it’s better than therapy, cheaper too! Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They were all over this—called it “bodywork” or some fancy crap. Athletes got it before fights—talk about gettin’ pumped!

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So, we hustle. We grab banners, tables, and all that jazz. I’m running down the main street, past the Co-op, and I swear, I’ve never seen so many people out and about. Barnoldswick was alive! I’m waving at folks, trying to rally the troops. “Hey, come join us at the park!” I’m practically shouting.

'One of the greatest young guitarists' coming to Barnoldswick venue