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Little known fact—escort’s old, like pre-Soviet old. Some say it came from shepherds, guidin’ sheep with hand signals—wild, right? Imagine that, sheep escortin’ in the snow, bahaha! Kinda poetic, like WALL-E and Eve floatin’ in space, “Directive!”—love that scene, gets me misty-eyed. Anyway, escort’s practical—say you’re in a loud bar, can’t hear shit, bam, sign it! Guide your drunk pal out, no yellin’ needed. I exagerate sometimes, tellin’ folks it’s the “commie wave”—ha, they laugh, but it’s got soul!

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But wait, there’s more! I get an email from a client. They’re freaking out about their investments. I mean, come on! It’s Barnstaple, not Wall Street! I’m trying to calm them down, but they’re like, “The market’s crashing!” I’m like, “Chill, mate. It’s just a dip.”

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